Log #18 (Happy Endings)

One of the hardest things I've discovered about writing this journal is to try and sound positive on those days where I feel good emotionally. Having to write about pain is naturally a negative subject, but even in the midst of all the pain I have good things in my life. I have to remind myself of that fact sometimes when things are particularly difficult. Really it's hard to smile and find things humorous when I'm wrapped in a blanket of agony, but I find happiness in my wife and children. I am very proud of each of them and how they live their lives. If it were not for them, I would have given up long ago.

Now that I've said that, it's a bummer that I have to follow it up with my catalogue of pain. I know it's hard to read this if you're following this blog on a daily basis, but the whole point of this exercise is to show that chronic pain never lets up.

People want to believe, "It can't be THAT bad." Because to accept that it is THAT bad, is feel a sense of hopelessness or despair. No one wants to see other people suffer. When we see a news story about someone who is battling cancer we want to see the story where the person beat the odds. We want to walk away from it feeling that everything is right in the world. We are a society that craves for happy endings. The main character of the movie needs to be healed in the end, the girl needs to get the guy, good conquers evil.