Log #82 (Repeating Myself)

Well, slowly but surely, I'm getting through the withdrawals. I'm not as tired and fatigued as I have been. I still had moments through the day, but nothing like a few days ago. As of now, it's been close to 91 hours since I took the last Oxycontin and mental need to take one is way down now.

I really need to make some things clear tonight that I think need to be said (repeated actually)...

I know that people haven't been reading this blog from the very beginning and it's unrealistic of me to expect someone to go back and read everything I've written thus far. That means that some things need repeating. I apologize to those who are already aware of what this blog is all about for having to hear this again. In a lot of ways, what I write tonight is directed to a select few and doesn't apply to all.

What I write here is nothing that I feel is too personal or sensitive. If I did, I wouldn't write it. Some people might disagree with me and that is well and good. I actually ask you to tell me as much in the comments. My point being that I don't write this blog to offend anyone.

People on this beautiful earth of ours suffer from so many different things and in most cases they do it silently. The world doesn't know about it because these people aren't out in public--it's way too painful for them to do so. Chronic pain, no matter the source, is not a beautiful/wonderful thing and for me to use this public forum to color coat things doesn't do justice to this problem.

I must write about pain, about drugs, family relations, and everything associated with what I'm going through or this becomes another fluffy--feel good--blog. Some may not like hearing what I have to say, but that's too bad. I'm not writing to make you feel good about yourself, nor to feel bad about yourself, I just want to open eyes.

I write frankly about the drugs I take because, believe it or not, the drugs are almost as big a part of a sufferer's life as the pain is. Regardless of how you view pain medication (including medical MJ) people are in agony and for you to sit on a high horse looking down on them for seeking relief then you are close minded and (to be totally honest) heartless. Chances are you are also a hypocrite because if the tables were turned your whole attitude would take a 180 degree turn.

I am going to find a way through all of this. I don't want to die young or have a poor quality of life. I understand more than most of you what these different medications do to a person, because I'm living with it and studying it as I go along. I will seek ALL avenues available to me within the law to find the best way to overcome or deal with this pain whether you like it or not. It is my life and my pain that I'm writing about and, unfortunately, my life mirrors hundreds of thousands of other people's. This is a quest for relief--be it medical MJ or prayer--it doesn't matter so much as putting this out there for people to know what is happening to people like me all over the world to one degree or another. Come along for the ride if you wish, but feel free to get off the train any time you feel this is too sensitive or personal for you.

Without a voice to speak the truth on behalf of the down trodden, no matter how much it hurts, we would still be in the dark ages. The only "inquisition" I will face is when I stand before my God, not you.


PLEASE MAKE COMMENTS!!!!

If you have similar experiences then please write them here. It may help someone else when you write your point of view. ANY comment, question, or suggestion is appreciated!!!