Log #23 (Sitting in a Taco)

Talk about a long day today. Why is it than when you get no sleep that time drags on? Why can it drag when you're having fun and speed up when you're not?

We decided to take the boys out to dinner last night. One reason was because my wife had a busy afternoon at work and so she didn't feel like cooking. The other reason was to just get out for something different so we found a coupon for a Chinese food buffet place and headed out. When we go out we have to get a booth because regular chairs are far too uncomfortable. I can say with all honesty that I have not sat on such uncomfortable booth seating in all my life.

My eight year old sat next to me on my bench while my wife and our twelve year old sat across from us. Every time my eight year old leaned forward the bench tilted forward too. I kept thinking we were both going to slide underneath the table at any minute. The other annoying thing was that the bench was made in such a way that the part that cushioned the upper back was closer to the table than the lower back. Kind of like sitting in a folded taco and about as comfortable.

That being said, I was in a lot of pain last night and I didn't sleep much at all. That is pretty much par for the course though. I get one night where I sleep okay because I'm totally exhausted and then the next few are sleepless. I guess it sounds strange that I'm worried about building up a tolerance for Ambien seemingly more than the pain medications. Well the difference is that I have to take the pain medication, but the Ambien is optional. So I only take Ambien as a last resort.

Daily Log #2 (Depression from CP)

I received a few different letters from State Fund Workman's Compensation Insurance and I can tell you, with 100% certainty, that there is nothing insuring about it. The Workman's Comp system is organized and run by criminals and the only people that suck benefits from them are other criminals.

From the moment I faced the fact that I may never work again I started a downward spiral into depression until it got so bad that my church leadership had to intervene and get me in to see a therapist. My Lawyer then sent me to a Psychiatrist approved by both him AND State Fund. As is usual, when a professional says their claimant has a serious problem, State Fund denies all services. Even though the professional reports that my depression is directly related to my injuries, the insurance company says it's not.

I won't go into all the details of my depression, but I will say this... There have been times when I was ready to give up everything and I knew exactly how I would do it. When it became all too apparent that I was sinking fast, Anya made the phone call to get me some help.