Rock-n-Roll! I was on the phone with my Mom today when when the bed began shake a little. Then as the seconds passed the shaking grew. It was more like sitting on a water bed than a shaking, but it was still a little weird. I would say the magnitude here would be equal to around 3.6 to 3.8. Almost unnoticeable. Small enough that my wife and kids didn't know it was happening until I pointed out that the ceiling fan and cloths in the closet were swaying back and forth. I've been in earthquakes before and even the bigger ones don't really scare. I respect the power and the possible destructive force so it's not like I take them lightly. I just don't panic when they happen. My prayers go out to those closer to, and on, the epicenter.
Strangely, yesterday I told my wife that we needed to go to Home Depot so we could get some things to make our house more earthquake safe. I told her that I knew an earthquake was coming because I could feel it in my gut. I don't believe that this was what I've been worrying about.
Even though it will cause me some pain to put safety brackets on my boy's bunk bed and install so hangers to keep pictures from falling off the walls, it is worth it. Personal pain now is nothing compared to the loss of life or serious injury if I did nothing. We live in an area that has no respect for anyone and an earthquake will not stop from happening simply because I don't feel good enough to do anything about it.
One of the hardest hits to family, when Chronic Pain of one or more of the members is involved, is activities away from home. So much of what we choose to do must take my pain into consideration. People we would love to visit must to be counted out right now, because if we had to travel for more than an hour it would take great effort just to get me out of the car again. Taking a ride across town is a trial and by the time we get home it takes me a minute or two just to get out of the car and a few more to walk 20 feet from the driveway to the front door.
There are some things where I tell myself that it doesn't matter how much pain I'm in and how many pills I have to take to keep the pain at bearable levels. I can't do this on a daily level though because I can't pump pills like that all of the time. Doing it once enough is bad enough, but for the sake of the family and our unity it has to be done and in the process I have to keep my complaints to a minimum so no one will know exactly what I'm going through. If I let it be known, my wife would never let me out of the house because she doesn't want to see me in any more pain than is necessary, but in my view, sometimes more pain is necessary for all of our sakes.
It's hard to hide pain, but the alternative is seeing that burden written all over every one's face. Life doesn't end because I feel terrible and I'm not about to bring every one's life to a halt because I feel that way. I honestly believe in the saying, "No Pain, No Gain." Nothing worth having is obtained without sacrifice. A good marriage or relationship requires sacrificing something for each other's happiness. Being a parent of well raised children requires more sacrifice than anything a person can do in their life. The things you don't have to work for don't have the same value as those things you sweat blood and tears for. That being said, I will sacrifice myself as needed to make sure my wife and kids live a life that is full and rewarding without having to remain locked in a home that becomes a dungeon with my pain as their task master.
If you have Chronic Pain and you're wrapped up too tightly in your cocoon of problems while your family buzzes around you 24/7 caring for your needs, I hope you will take the time to assess yourself to see if maybe your pain has fostered a reason within you to be selfish. Getting wrapped up in yourself is very easy to do. So please find ways where you can give back something to your family and sacrifice your own comfort if need be.
Some marriages of Chronic Pain sufferers fall apart, not because of the pain, depression, or feeling misunderstood, but because of the sufferer becoming too selfish in the quest for relief of pain. The entire family suffers! It isn't enough to say, "Woe is me for bringing this life upon each of you." and then doing nothing to meet their needs in the best way you can. Having Chronic Pain doesn't give a person a free ticket to become absorbed in themselves and treat other people unkindly because they think no one understands. The reward for sacrificing a little for your family is keeping them around and enjoying their accomplishments. The reward of sacrificing your family for the sake of your pain is more misery and suffering by everyone who comes in contact with you.
It's your CHOICE to do what you can, not your CURSE when you do nothing!
PLEASE MAKE COMMENTS!!!! If you have similar experiences then please write them here. It may help someone else when you write your point of view.
ANY comment, question, or suggestion is appreciated!!!
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