Log #56 (Being Superman)

At least I can report that I feel better today. I'm trying to be a little positive here.  I actually had an experience about three nights ago where I felt a total gloom descend upon me.  Total depression like a bucket of water being poured on my head.  For a few minutes I laid in my bed and I couldn't think of anything good.  Then I said to myself, "This is NOT how my life really is!"  Then I thought about all of the good things in my life and I named them one by one.  With each one--silently spoken--I felt better and happier until I was calm enough and content enough to get some mental rest.

To be completely serious here, when I was about two and a half years old I was run over by a car. The tire went over my stomach and I was in the hospital for a long time. I don't remember the pain, but I vividly remember the experience and I have a lot of big scars to prove it.

The way I feel now, it's like being able to say I've been hit by a car a second time. Maybe it's more like that scene from the TV show, Smallville, when Clark Kent (Superman) throws himself in front of a runaway bus to save a homeless man from getting hit. Clark walks away, but he's a little sore. Smallville - The Complete Seasons 1-7

I wish I were the Man of Steel (BTW my absolute favorite super hero), but knowing the way things work, instead of Kryptonite my weakness would be Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia anyway.

Back to reality, today was still very rough and still hard to get out of bed. I did the laundry and it felt like I was riddled with arthritis in EVERY joint. This sucks, but I will get through it and when it happens again I'll get through that too. The life I live in between each of those episodes makes it all worth it. If I am given another day to be proud of my children's lives and accomplishments, another day to be with my lovely wife, another day with my parents and siblings, another day to experience the support of my friends, or another day to feel the joy I have when I see any of them smile then I know that enduring the pain and suffering is worth it.

Before I end tonight I want to share something with you.  Once again, my desire here is not to force religion on you because that isn't the purpose of this blog.  What I would like is for you to read the following scriptures fom the Book of Job in the Old Testament of the Bible.  I do not consider myself a "Job," so don't think that is my reason for posting this.  Read how he describes his condition... Fibromyalgia?  Maybe?  It's an interesting thought.

Job 30: 15-31

15: Terrors are turned upon me: they pursue my soul as the wind: and my welfare passeth away as a cloud.
16: And now my soul is poured out upon me; the days of affliction have taken hold upon me.
17: My bones are pierced in me in the night season: and my sinews take no rest.
18: By the great force of my disease is my garment changed: it bindeth me about as the collar of my coat.
19: He hath cast me into the mire, and I am become like dust and ashes.
20: I cry unto thee, and thou dost not hear me: I stand up, and thou regardest me not.
21: Thou art become cruel to me: with thy strong hand thou opposest thyself against me.
22: Thou liftest me up to the wind; thou causest me to ride upon it, and dissolvest my substance.
23: For I know that thou wilt bring me to death, and to the house appointed for all living.
24: Howbeit he will not stretch out his hand to the grave, though they cry in his destruction.
25: Did not I weep for him that was in trouble? was not my soul grieved for the poor?
26: When I looked for good, then evil came unto me: and when I waited for light, there came darkness.
27: My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me.
28: I went mourning without the sun: I stood up, and I cried in the congregation.
29: I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.
30: My skin is black upon me, and my bones are burned with heat.
31: My harp also is turned to mourning, and my organ into the voice of them that weep.

I have to end with something funny though...

PLEASE MAKE COMMENTS!!!! If you have similar experiences then please write them here. It may help someone else when you write your point of view. ANY comment, question, or suggestion is appreciated!!!

Music Playlist at MixPod.com