Log #75 (Withdrawals)

The most annoying thing about any pain killing drug is that when their usefulness is over and it's time to run them out of town, they don't give up without a fight. Like the bad gunslinger in a cheap western, the pain killer has got to do everything to trouble the hero before he's shot down--dead in the dusty street.

Here is a link to Oxycontin withdrawal symptoms: The Gunslinger

It's a double edged sword taking pain killers; in one way they take away the pain, but over time they actually add to the pain. So you have to do what you can for relief knowing full well--if you have a good doctor that tells you--that somewhere down the road you'll HAVE to take more and more to get the same effect. Plus that adds to the amount work your body has to do to filter the stuff--all of which is synthetic.

The main thing is to deny the body what it craves for. As I cut back on the Oxycontin and the withdrawals hit, I have to push myself to go an hour further than I think I can handle and when I read that hour I have to try for one more. It is an immensely mental process--even more than a physical one. The addict may say differently, but it is the mind that controls our actions; the mind that chooses to give in. I refuse to let my body's craving to dictate what I do. I've gone from 3 x 20mg Oxycontin per day to one in the last 24 hours. To top that off, I was already limiting the amount I was taking to begin with. Even though I was taking the Oxycontin on a regular schedule it was not enough anymore to really be effective and I was experiencing some withdrawal symptoms when the stuff was waring off.

So I'm starting the medical MJ, but I still have to deal with pain associated with withdrawals. I may not know the full effect of MJ for a while down the road. I may also discover that as my tolerance levels for Oxycontin was going up, my resistance to fibromyalgia was going down. I hope that when the Oxycontin is completely out of my system maybe my fibromyalgia symptoms will decrease.

DIE OXYCONTIN!!! DIE!!!

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ANY comment, question, or suggestion is appreciated!!!