Log #110 (Hope)

I find it quite interesting that people look to me for advice or view me as some sort of great man.  I don't see that in myself.  I find it hard to make the choices I make and sometimes I screw up a lot before I finally get it right.  All of us have two personalities; one in our minds with all the insecurities and then there is the public perception of who we are.  I'm sure that for some people the two are very close to being the same.

The reason why I bring this up is because I don't have all the answers when it comes to this stuff and what I write is mostly my own views.  I like to read up on things and I write what I read about, but I still encourage my readers to research things for themselves.

I know that some of you suffer a lot more than I do and I want to give you some encouragement... When I was in the locker room at the gym, a guy saw the scars on my back and asked about the surgery I had.  It turns out that he had the same vertebra fused, but had a different procedure and at two levels.  The encouraging thing about his story was that he was once in a wheel chair and nearly incoherent because he was taking so many pain pills.  He was taking 40mg Oxycontin every 4 hours and drooling all over himself.  Now he is off all of his pain medication and he's fit and he's healthy.  Granted he had better results from his surgery, but the difference for him was an implanted morphine pump that was put in seven years ago.  The morphine goes directly into his spine and not his blood so he doesn't have any side effects or tolerance issues.  His quality of life has improved drastically from drooling in a wheel chair to where he is now.

Never give up hope.  What works for one person may not work for another, but technology is constantly changing and like that guy someday the right procedure might come along that will change things around.  

PLEASE MAKE COMMENTS!!!!  If you have similar experiences then please write them here.  It may help someone else when you write your point of view.  ANY comment, question, or suggestion is appreciated!!!